Monty Python and the Battle of the Hornburg

What would happen if the Monty Python guys were in charge of Lord of the Rings' Battle of Helmsdeep? Walter Chang thinks he has the answer.

From the website:

RIDER OF ROHAN:
Halt! Hallo! Hallo!

URUK-HAI LEADER:
This is the army of Saruman. Whose castle is this?

RIDER OF ROHAN:
This is the fortress of Helm's Deep.

URUK-HAI LEADER:
Go tell your master that we have been charged by the White Wizard to find a ring. If you will kindly line up outside and be slaughtered --

RIDER OF ROHAN:
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen on it.

URUK-HAI LEADER:
Why not?

RIDER OF ROHAN:
You see, 'e's already got one.

You get the point.....