Laurels & Pelicans Face Off at Lilies War

Conde Fernando Rodriguez de Falcon and Comtesse Lyriel de la Foret of the Kingdom of Calontir send warnings about rumblings among the Peers in their Kingdom to be resolved at this year's Lilies War: Laurels vs. Pelicans.

Their Excellencies write:

As the days of summer grow longer and Calontir prepares for the great Fair upon the fields of Lilies, we bring you alarming tidings. For decades now the Society has grown and prospered, and the people have been supported by three pillars: Service, Martial Prowess, and the Arts & Sciences. Since the times of the ancients all builders have known that for a structure to be stable, the pillars must be equal, lest the platform slip and that which it supports slide off to its destruction.

But now, one of those pillars has become unbalanced. Our Order of the Laurel, good folk though they be, appear to have been touched by madness, and wish to supplant the other Orders. They would redact Chivalry and Service into Arts and Sciences!

Even as we write this, we can hear you saying "No! Surely this can not be." But their conspiracy has long been in the works, and their hidden Laurel plan leaves clues for those who would look for them. Do they not refer to combat as a martial art? Who coined that phrase? Or this one: The Pen is mightier than the Sword? There are countless more examples.

Now, we hear they are gathering their forces, to turn the fair fields of Lilies once more to field of War. We have heard Laurels plan "to inflict art upon the masses." Beware you folk of the Midrealm, for who knows how far this Laurel conspiracy goes! Could the Middle Kingdom be next?

First those who take the sword will feel their vine-like tendrils reaching onto the field of combat (where, we might add, we already regularly exercise the art of singing). Will your swords become quills? Will your three step running charge be changed to a Pavanne? Will your armor be transformed into a Cotehardie or a Houppelande, and your helm replaced with a stylish plumed hat or beaded snood? We can only imagine what might be done to the archery fields, but we understand feathers are involved...

They will next turn their creeping branches to those who labor. Will every water-bearer be wearing elaborate Elizabethan gowns and carrying water in tiny crystal glasses? Will event stewards be told, "No need to plan ahead, so long as you look mah-veh-lous?"

Good my Lords and Ladies, these are the signs of a world gone mad! The Arts and Sciences are wonderful things, and we are well blessed that they improve every facet of our Society. Ivy is also beautiful, but when the climbing vine grows too much and kills the tree upon which it grows, then both may well wither. And then who prospers?

These Laurels must be made to realize that all three pillars are vital to our Society's stability. And should they, like kudzu, try to grow beyond their bounds, then it is our responsibility to prune them back.

The Ancient and Honorable Order of the Pelican is prepared for this service. We will stand against these Laurels for the good of all. Will you stand with us? Don your red and white in token of your support of the Pelicans and join us upon the fields of Lilies, as we cut back the over reaching Laurel!

Until the sky is filled with falling leaves, we remain,

Conde Fernando Rodriguez de Falcon, OL, OP, etc.
Comtesse Lyriel de la Foret, OL, OP, etc.

A Just War

LOL here -- that's the most convincing call to arms I've yet read! (And I speak as an English major.)

Fight For Freedom From Feathers!