Tired of Losing Crown Tourneys? Try This!

This is what happens when distinguished Pelicans have waaaaay too much time on their hands. Midair writes:

If you're like me, you've tried EVERYTHING to win a Crown tournament. I know how you feel - the special diets, the endless fighting practices, and fancy training techniques have never helped me win a Crown Tournament either. It seemed like the harder I tried, the moreI got my butt handed to me on a platter, until I heard about a product called Power Brannos Plus.

Should we be worried that the Exchequer of our fair Kingdom has one of the most warped senses of humor in the Known World?