New Issue Online. Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

The Quarter: Oh, the humanity! Those miscreants and reprobates at The Quarter, still utterly unrepentant in spite of their six weeks in the gulag after last issue, have relapsed into their former life of crime. To a respectable, upstanding, utterly conservative, and consistently serious-minded publication like, The Quarter is like a train wreck. We can't bear to watch, but we can't look away, either. It's like sneaking a peek at those tabloids while you're in the supermarket checkout line. We're so ashamed, but we just can't stop reading them!

This month's issue is chock full of wholesome, nutritious goodness:

  • How to Tell if You're Dating a Laurel
  • Handicapper's Guide to Crown Tourney
  • Wacky Woodkut Kaption Kontest
  • What Me Think
  • Overheard at Fall Coronation
  • ...and Much, Much More!

Remember, laughter is bad for you. We at recommend that you carefully analyze The Quarter so that you will understand the insidious nature of humor, the better to avoid its sinister temptations.