Ode to Just Staying Home from Pennsic War

Not going to Pennsic 34? Commiserate with Lord Zachariah von Marksburgh and his Ode to Staying home from Pennsic War.

Staying Home from Pennsic War

In order to pay honor to all the poor souls braving the long drive to war, contending with the weather of Pennsic be it cold, hot, rainy or dry,

And to honor all those who put up with the crowds and the noise and the dirt and all manner of bugs that you wish would just die.

As well as honor those who beyond the limits of their purse might spend, And for those who do stupid stuff at War when all common sense does suspend.

To honor those who must drive 18 hours, arriving in the middle of the night— and then attempt to find where they are supposed to camp without any help or light.

To honor those who must contend with Land Lottery from the first for land to keep, And to honor those who at the last must pile up all the trash in a very big heap!

I, Lord Zachariah von Marksburgh do Solemly Swear to stay home where I will enjoy Air Conditioning, and water running cold and hot—
stereo, movies, the internet, television and lines for anything—NOT !

I, Lord Zachariah von Marksburgh do Solemly Swear that I will use every single kilowatt of electricity in every single appliance I like—
And to park a lot closer to home instead of a mile and a half hike!

I, Lord Zachariah von Marksburgh do also swear that with a press of a button on the remote or a knob on a dial to tweak
I’ll be enjoying the A/C, the recliner and the TV, and a roof that does not leak!

So to all the poor souls going to Pennsic War I say this—
Pennsic this year is something I’ll not too badly miss!

Now you might think from the above that I am not keen on Pennsic attending
But I WILL have my reservation for Pennsic XXXV sent in before this year’s ending!

Zachariah von Marksburgh