Colonel Jenna writes:
Announcement of Theme and Commanders for Calontir's Upcoming War of the Lilies 2005
At the Coronation of Tristram and Katrine, announcement was made of the scenario for this summer's War of the Lilies in Calontir. The theme is, Past Commanders. Eight former generals of the Falcon Army will each lead their own army, designated by a particular color, to honor and glory and other excuses to hit friends with sticks prior to partying with them.
The commanders were given the opportunity before evening court to make their preliminary recruitment speeches and offers. The speeches could never be reproduced in full, but here are the highlights:
- Ferd: It's not just an event, it's a War!
- Rolf: Rolf is a hack! *I'm* Julius Caesar, Master of the World!
- Malachi: If you have some spare time in June please come waste it with me.
- A representative for Semjaka: People who follow him won't get lost.
- Angus: Once more dear friends, Onto the Beach!
- A representative for Magnus (who happened to be sooo much prettier than him): His color is white, color of the pure and innocent. So if you *wish* you were Pure and Innocent, or *remember* being pure and innocent, join Magnus.
- Drx (whose mundane persona had recently been stymied on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" by the question, "In Shakespeare's play, who said, 'First thing, let's kill all the lawyers'"): Who will fight with me? Response by a heckler: The Butcher!
- Lars: Had no representative present to speak for him. This may or may not have been part of a Cunning Plan.
Calontir's War of the Lilies is held annually, and is scheduled this year for June 9-18, 2005 at Smithville Lake, which is north of Kansas City, Missouri. Kingdom law prohibits using a war scenario that will pit Calontir against any other kingdom, and time-honored custom dictates that the theme be amusing enough and the war points malleable enough that no-one actually cares who or even *if* there is a "winner". Interested persons are invited to check out the Calontir webpage for further information.
report by Colonel Jenna
survivor of each and every Lilies War