SCAdians pepper sprayed at NYC event

SCA members attending a camping event in the Shire of Tuzocci were attacked with pepper spray and other riot-suppression weapons when mistaken for Occupy Wall Street protestors.

A small shire near New York City was the scene of a confrontation between local police -- augmented by the Department of Homeland Security -- and SCA members last weekend, as the police apparently thought the SCA members were protesting something. Seven Dukes, three Laurels, two Knights, and five Pelicans, as well as numerous others, were arrested after the incident. All but one have since been released on bail.

The event's theme may have contributed to the apparent misunderstanding, as it was called "Road to Runnymede -- Taking Back What's Ours, Dammit!" According to a source within the police department, the local Mayor had no idea of the historical context and thought that Runnymede was a microbrew beer. The source was quoted as saying, "Chief DuWright went absolutely ballistic and said no damned hippie rabble-rousers were gonna swill that tree-hugger sissy beer in this town!" The police chief apparently alerted Homeland Security of a "terrorist invasion", and events spiraled out of control from there.

When police arrived at the SCA event, they encountered about fifty people in garb, most carrying weapons of some sort, and tents all around. They seized the Gatekeeper, demanded to know who was in charge, and arrested the Seneschal when she was pointed out by the frightened Gatekeeper. Seeing an armoured tournament in progress, the police formed a riot line and charged onto the list field, and used a taser on a Marshal who tried to stop them. They doused both fighters with pepper spray, then turned to the crowd and decided if a little was good, a general spraying of everyone was just the right crowd-control measure.

At one point, a police officer on the scene tried to reason with the SCA people, but that also went badly when the interviewee -- a research Laurel -- tried to explain the event in persona rather than in modern voice. According to eyewitnesses, the Laurel told police that "we are here to demand our rights from the landed despot who dares to decree that God Himself hath appointed his elevated station." The police, apparently, took the word "station" to mean their station, and assumed the crowd meant to storm City Hall and attack the Mayor.

Eventually, the matter was sorted out, as the officers from Homeland Security had rather more training and self-restraint than the local cops. Unfortunately, a number of injuries were reported, mostly to the SCA folk but also to a few of the police, one of whom was hospitalized to remove an impaled tweedle-needle he acquired when storming one of the A&S classes. In most cases, according to arrest records, the SCA members and police mutually agreed not to press charges, and the SCA folks were released. A few members remained in custody, with charges of trespassing and resisting arrest, until bail was posted early Monday morning. All the injured were treated and released, with no serious injuries reported.

The Mayor declined our request for an interview, but as he walked away from our reporter, he was heard to mutter, "Well, crap, what was I supposed to think, with all those damned tents, the strange clothes, and the weapons?" A member of the Mayor's staff, speaking anonymously, revealed that the local Baron and Baroness were mistaken by the Mayor for "caricatures of wealthy Wall Street hedge fund managers."

Lawyers representing the SCA members accused the Mayor of being partial to conservative protestors. One lawyer said, "Six months ago, the Fleabaggers were here in the same public space. They carried guns and ammunition openly, but the Mayor left them alone because they were from his own party." The Mayor's office responded that guns were "not considered dangerous" under city law, but that "we [public officials] have no way of knowing what those men in kilts may be hiding in those fur pouches of theirs." Fleabaggers, a loosely-organized conservative movement, have staged protest marches in recent months demanding that the government stop taxing them and eliminate all laws and regulations concerning personal cleanliness. Harry Nilap, a spokesman for the local Fleabagger Party organization, denied accusations of having urged the Mayor to act against the SCA.

According to local Seneschal, Lady Gryddachdyll nic Ygmyddracha (called Mehv), the biggest question remaining is who will pay for the damaged and destroyed tents. "The police just tore through them with machetes," she said, "and had absolutely no clue how expensive a 20x24 foot Regency pavilion or a Bell Wedge tent really is."

Excellent!

 

 

I nearly wet myself laughing at this.  Not sure what's got everyone else so up in arms about it.  Well done on you for the joke!

A-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Bravo, and well-played.

I came to this article a couple of days late (my lady is recovering from a nasty infection that cropped up after surgery, and I have spent the last 4 days at the hospital), and was almost taken in. Fortunately, my fool-dar went off, and a quick scroll back to the top to see the categories confirmed my suspicions.

All the comments

All the comments that this "story" has generated should give you some material for next year. Just remember that. Unless something way better happens in real life.

very funny

Personally I found the article very humorous, the fact that we do have people in the SCA who can poke fun at them selves and take a light view of the world around them makes me glad to be apart of the society. There were no cheap shots at the occupy movement, only general pokes made at both the SCA and the mundane world. The article even states in the links for the top of the page that it is HUMOR! Being a strong supporter of the Occupy movement across the US and in my town, I think this was great fun for the April Fools joke it was meant to be.

Where SCAtoday.net comes from


Dear Disgruntled Readers:

You may have already observed that if you look at the top of this page, or the bottom of this page, or the side, or all the other pages on this site, you won't find any advertisements. 

That is because SCAtoday.net is provided by the publisher and editor at their own expense as a service to the SCA community. Two people provide the server space, the technical expertise, and 95% of all the content you see on the site. Other reporters (including, infrequently, me) do make a contribution, but the vast majority of EVERYTHING you see here is provided by Maistor Justinos and Mistress Milica, every single day.

That being the case, if they choose to publish ONE story out of hundreds each year in such a way as to reflect their own individual senses of humor--on their unofficial site that they paid for and for which they refuse all ads so you won't be bothered with them--is it really so terribly wrong?

Also, please notice that your negative comments WERE published. All comments on SCAtoday.net are moderated, so the publisher and editor made an affirmative decision to share YOUR views with the world.

SCAtoday.net as you see it is the result of a great deal of time and money freely given by two honorable people who intend only to serve. 

And that's no joke.

Yours in service,
Lady Ursula the Widow

Not in the least bit funny. 

Not in the least bit funny.  Please stop with political editorials under the disguise of April Fool's jokes.

Poisson d'Avril

I disagree.  This was an equal-opportunity smackdown, and most of the jokes were solidly aimed at the SCA.   I'd like to know just exactly what "political" stance this is "editorializing", since just about everyone got skewered in it.

I'd also give scatoday the benefit of the doubt, since the one day they've post anything remotely political is April 1.

Not a NYC shire

 The Shire of Tuzocci, mentioned in this article, is no where near NYC, which is the Crown Province of Ostgardr and its Cantons of Whyt Whey, Northpass, Brokenbridge and Lions End. Surrounding groups are the Shire of Rusted Woodlands, the Barony of Settmour Swamp and the Barony of An Dubhaigheann. 

I tried to look up this shire, but it does not come up anywhere in NYS.

- Lady Lilie Dubh inghean ui Mordha, CSC, Southern Region Deputy Chatelaine, East Kingdom.

It totally is

I lived on Long Island for 20 years, I totally remember the Shire of Tuzocci. I went to an event there once.

RE: Not a NYC shire

Greetings Lady Lilie,

Please check your calendar and the topic headings. :-)

Milica

 

 This was not funny. Sorry. I

 This was not funny. Sorry. I take the Occupy Movement and the people involved seriously. 

So do we.

I'm sorry you feel that way. We take Occupy seriously, also. The article is intended mainly to poke fun at the SCA, but also somewhat at the ham-handed behavior of the authorities in dealing with nonviolent protestors.