(Cheerful music and much talking dies down as Bilbo gets ready to make his birthday speech)
Frodo: Old woman!
Frodo: Man, sorry. Have you seen Bilbo Baggins anywhere about?
Lotho: I'm thirty one.
Lotho: I'm thirty one in shire-reckoning -- I'm not old!
Frodo: Well, I couldn't just say "hey you."
Lotho: Well, you could say "Lotho."
Frodo: Well, I didn't see that it was you.
Lotho: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
Frodo: I did say sorry about the "old woman," but it's getting dark and from the behind you looked--
Lotho: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Frodo: Well, today IS my birthday as well as Bilbo's...
It gets worse. Much, much worse. Enjoy!
Thanks to Garth for posting the link to the Middlebridge